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The art of tanliness, hands on

by Michael Weare
6 April, 2012
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About the author

Michael Weare has been a professional writer for 30 years, writing about Japanese technology, German and Italian cars, British tailoring and Swiss watches. Michael manages the editorial content of Click Tempus and will be keeping the magazine fresh and informative with regular features, as well as bringing great writers to the magazine. Email: michael@clicktempus.com

Watch-on-dark-tanned-skin

Whether it’s an important new watch from a top Swiss manufacture, or an impertinent new timepiece from a funky new brand, you can rely on Ariel Adams to be showing it on A Blog To Read in millions of glorious megapixels quicker than you can say ‘Ticker ticker Timex’.

Watch brands it seems, fall in line to offer Ariel test drives for their latest creations because they know he will review them fully, fairly and knowledgeably. You will always learn something new from reading an Ariel Adams article, whether it’s the way a watch works or how the industry ticks.

Like many, I look forward to Ariel’s frequent ‘hands on’ articles, knowing that I will see the watch in a variety of angles you simply won’t get to see from the press release.

No doubt about it, Ariel knows how to wear a watch and take a high res picture of it at the same time. Great watches, great pictures, great articles, what’s not to like?

Well, there is one thing. Ariel’s pasty wrists.

Cool watch but arm too pasty

Now wait a minute, am I writing an article on the colour of someone’s skin? Yes. Being of the milky white Celtic coloured persuasion myself, my mother, (God rest her soul), would sweep back the curtains and declare ‘you’re not sitting in a darkened room on a lovely day like today. Get out and get some fresh air and sunshine on those pasty white limbs.’

It should be pointed out that ‘lovely days’ in Britain are rarer than Ladoire Black Widows. Insipid grey skies and biting gusty winds are much more the thing, so even the merest hint of sunshine has everyone basking in the parks and getting sunburnt at lunchtime. It’s a well known national fact.

But in Ariel’s case, there is really no excuse. You see Ariel lives in what is habitually called ‘sunny’ California, but those luxury watch wrists haven’t seen a splash of sunshine since I don’t know when.

Hams getting tanned while Harley Davidson cruising

Fortunately there is a cure. It’s called a Hog. A Harley. Forget about walking in the park, that’s for the birds and young lovers. The trick is to climb on a snarling bike, stick on some Oakleys, fire up the engine and let the sun beat down on those glistening white hams.

A little SPF 15 can be used to begin with, but after a couple of weeks of Hog cruising along the inspiring California highways, those wrists and forearms will be camera ready with a rich new ‘man of action’ tan.

Ariel will not only get the watches, he will also get the girls.

A little tan behind the watch goes a long, long way. As can be seen, our eyes are immediately drawn to the lightly tanned skin under the watch of this charming young lady.

Big watch on light tanned skin

Here are some other examples of the art of tanliness, hands on.

Optimal sun tan for modelling watches

Omega Constellation on suntanned wrist
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Of course it could just be that sunshine really doesn’t agree with Ariel, after all, many fair skinned people just go blotchy in the sun.

Tag Heuer watch 'feet on'

For this problem the answer is to substitute ‘hands on’ for ‘feet on’ as demonstrated in the picture above.

Failing that, there’s one last course of action, it’s drastic but it’s guaranteed to work. Emigrate to the Philippines. Yes, in ‘sunny’ Manila, white skin is idolised.

Skin whitening products

People would pay top dollar to have wrists as white as Ariel’s, and hundreds of expensive skin whitening products bear testimony to the national obsession to be white. Daily I am complimented on my naturally blanched skin tones.

White, black, blue or Coppertone brown, I, like so many, look forward to Ariel’s next ‘hands on’ blog.

All watch pictures unashamedly stolen, including Ariel’s, purely for purposes of illustration.

Have you mastered the art of tanliness? Send us the proof.

Michael Weare | Website

Michael Weare has been a professional writer for 30 years, writing about Japanese technology, German and Italian cars, British tailoring and Swiss watches. Michael manages the editorial content of Click Tempus and will be keeping the magazine fresh and informative with regular features, as well as bringing great writers to the magazine. Email: michael@clicktempus.com

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