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Parlez-vous Rakuten?

by Michael Weare
7 September, 2012
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About the author

Michael Weare has been a professional writer for 30 years, writing about Japanese technology, German and Italian cars, British tailoring and Swiss watches. Michael manages the editorial content of Click Tempus and will be keeping the magazine fresh and informative with regular features, as well as bringing great writers to the magazine. Email: michael@clicktempus.com

Rakuten logo

Rakuten.com is a fascinating Japanese website which sells all kinds of goods direct from Japan, many of which you can’t get elsewhere. Their watch section contains a superb range of Seiko and Citizen watches. These models used to be exclusive only to Japan, but nowadays many of them are quite easy to get hold of either on eBay or through other auction sites. That’s fine, but it’s not nearly as much fun as trying to decipher the watch descriptions offered by Rakuten.

Probably with good reason, Rakuten decided against employing a feckless overpaid Gaijin (alien) writer to transform the product descriptions into flowing purple Anglo Saxon watch prose. Instead they write it themselves, and the results are replete with more charm, more poignancy and more smiles than any English writer could ever hope to muster.

Here is a selection of some great Seiko and Citizen models as described by Rakuten, with liberal English translations provided below.

SEIKO Pilot Alarm Chronograph

Seiko Pilot Alarm Chronograph

Rakuten: As for the button of the chronograph in a lock type the Heiss peck model whom I become. As for the 200m waterproofing of diver specifications…

Translation: Clearly what is meant here is that this is a stainless steel chronograph with waterproofing to 200 metres. The watch comes with a tachymetre and a chronograph with three pushers to control the chronograph and the alarm function.

CITIZEN Attesa Radio Time Signal watch

Citizen Attesa Radio Time Signal watch

Rakuten: Furuchi tongue case, Eco-drive, world many stations reception radio time signal. “It is the first among the world”, and here is always discovery. I always wear advanced technology. Symbol of the Citizen innovation I expand a direct flight model now, I am going to accomplish further evolution.

Translation: Quite clearly this deceptively simple looking Citizen watch belies its radio time signal technology which keeps the watch accurate to within 1 second in every 30,000 years. The watch automatically corrects itself from time signals transmitted throughout the day.

 

CITIZEN Promaster Eco Drive Radio Time Signal Chronograph

Citizen Promaster Eco Drive Radio Time Signal Chronograph

Rakuten: PROMASTER is a coined word from Professional Master. Safety and the reliability of the function to be worthy of a severe condition bottom, the use of the professional are appreciated in higher than of the world in 50 countries and get the support of many trousers. It is high-performance and is the watch which is most suitable for one played sports in a thing of high quality in earnest.

Translation: A stunning looking radio time signal chronograph from Citizen with an eye catching turquoise second hand. The date window is at 4 o’clock, water resistant to 10atm, perpetual calendar, alarm and power save function – and supported by many trousers.

 

SEIKO Spirit

Seiko Spirit SBTM063

Rakuten: The convenient solar model who continues moving by power of the light not to need periodical battery exchange. The spirit (SPIRIT) of SEIKO is the brand which investigated the design which valued the intelligence felt by simple beauty while being particular about good performance if I call it standard including usability, comfort of a feeling of wearing, visibility, lightness, the security.

Translation: A lucid description of a simple, elegant watch from Seiko powered not by batteries but by solar power, which when fully charged can last for six months, and still keep time for 1.5 years if kept in a drawer. The watch receives radio signals throughout the day to keep it bang on time. At 37mm in diameter, it’s designed for smaller wrists.

SEIKO Kinetic SKA469P1

Seiko Kinetic SKA469P1

Rakuten: The new drive type that SEIKO developed originally, kinetic adoption. It is the hybrid style that put “height of the quartz-type precision” and the merit called “the self-winding battery exchange unnecessary” together in structure to charge a quartz battery to kinetic the movement of the arm.

Translation: In dull old English this means that this Seiko gents kinetic watch features a date display stainless steel case along with a low charge indicator. This model also has crystal glass and push deployment clasp.

Michael Weare | Website

Michael Weare has been a professional writer for 30 years, writing about Japanese technology, German and Italian cars, British tailoring and Swiss watches. Michael manages the editorial content of Click Tempus and will be keeping the magazine fresh and informative with regular features, as well as bringing great writers to the magazine. Email: michael@clicktempus.com

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